.jpg){kind=logo}
Written By: Dr. Stephanie McGraw, PsyD
August 23, 2024
Key Take Aways
Trauma isn't solely defined by the severity of an event but by how it affects you emotionally and psychologically. Understanding that your feelings are significant, regardless of the event’s scale, is crucial in healing from your experience.
Identifying symptoms like persistent emotional distress, intrusive thoughts, avoidance behaviors, and changes in mood or behavior can help determine if what you’ve experienced is still impacting your life.
Embracing support in the aftermath of trauma is a step towards healing and recognizing that you don't have to face these challenges alone.
You might find yourself wrestling with a question that feels both personal and profound: Was what I went through really traumatic? Was it that bad? Or am I just exaggerating it all in my mind? It’s not uncommon to doubt the significance of your own experiences, especially for survivors of what we call complex or "little t trauma." Not to be confused with acute or "big T trauma" such as isolated incidents of abuse, violence, or natural disasters, little t traumas happen so consistently in one's life that they become expected and start to blur into the overall landscape of one's life. If you’re feeling uncertain about whether your experiences are valid or significant enough to be considered trauma, you’re not alone. Let’s explore this question together and find clarity in understanding the impact of your experiences.
What Is Trauma, Anyway?
Trauma is often thought of as the result of extreme, life-threatening events, but it’s important to recognize that trauma is highly subjective. It’s not just about the event itself but how it affects you emotionally and psychologically. Trauma can result from a range of experiences, including but not limited to, physical or emotional abuse, accidents, loss, and significant life changes. Less commonly discussed forms of complex trauma can include:
Everyday Stressors and Challenges: These might include significant life changes, ongoing stress, or difficult and chaotic interpersonal relationships. Examples include chronic work stress, ongoing conflict with friends or family, or persistent academic pressure.
Emotional Neglect or Rejection: Experiences of emotional neglect or repeated instances of feeling rejected or invalidated can fall into this category. This could involve situations where an individual's emotional needs are consistently overlooked or where they feel emotionally unsupported or alone in the world.
Non-Life Threatening but Repeated Negative Experiences: Repeated negative interactions or experiences, such as consistent bullying or harassment, may not seem severe in isolation but can accumulate over time, leading to emotional distress.
Small-Scale Losses or Failures: Personal failures or losses that might be considered minor by others, like a relationship breakup or a missed opportunity, can have a profound impact on an individual’s self-esteem and mental health.
Understanding trauma starts with acknowledging that what matters most is how the experience impacts you personally. No two people will respond to traumatic events in the same way, and there’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to defining what constitutes trauma.
Recognizing the Signs of Trauma
Symptoms of trauma can manifest in various ways, including emotional numbness, heightened anxiety, or intrusive memories. If left unaddressed, trauma can significantly impact your quality of life, making it essential to seek therapy when needed. To help you navigate whether your experience might be considered trauma, ask yourself these reflective questions:
How Did I Feel Right After the Event? Did you experience intense emotions like fear, sadness, or confusion immediately following the event? The initial emotional response can often provide clues about the impact of the experience.
Are These Feelings Still Affecting Me? Have these feelings persisted over time, or do they resurface frequently? Lingering or recurring emotional distress can be a sign that the experience was traumatic for you. Trauma therapy can help you understand and navigate these intense emotions, offering techniques to regulate and cope with them more effectively.
Am I Reliving the Experience or Having Intrusive Thoughts? Do you find yourself frequently thinking about or reliving the event, even if you don’t want to? This could indicate that the experience is affecting you more deeply than you might initially realize. One of the most noticeable signs that you might benefit from trauma therapy is the experience of intrusive memories or flashbacks. If these memories disrupt your daily life, trauma therapy can provide you with strategies to process and manage these intense recollections, helping to reduce their impact over time.
Has the Event Disrupted My Daily Life? Consider whether the event has affected your ability to carry out normal daily activities or responsibilities. Trauma often disrupts one’s ability to function effectively in everyday life. Sometimes, trauma manifests through physical symptoms such as chronic pain, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues, even when no medical explanation is found. These symptoms are often related to the body’s stress response. Trauma therapy can address these physical manifestations by working through the underlying emotional and psychological issues, potentially alleviating some of these distressing symptoms.
Am I Avoiding Certain People, Places, or Activities? Are you avoiding situations or places that remind you of the event? Avoidance can be a way of coping with trauma, suggesting that the experience had a significant impact on you. If you notice yourself avoiding certain situations or withdrawing from activities you once enjoyed, trauma therapy can assist you in gradually facing these triggers in a safe and controlled manner, helping you to reclaim aspects of your life that trauma has affected.
Have I Noticed Changes in My Mood or Behavior? Reflect on whether you’ve experienced mood swings, irritability, or other changes in behavior that seem out of character. Additionally, feelings of numbness or detachment from others may arise. Trauma therapy offers a space to explore these behavioral changes and work on strategies to manage and stabilize your emotional responses.
Do I Feel a Sense of Guilt or Self-Blame? Are you struggling with feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame related to the experience? Such feelings can indicate that the trauma is deeply affecting your self-perception. Trauma therapy helps in rebuilding a positive self-image and addressing these deep-seated issues, fostering a healthier and more resilient self-concept.
Have I Been Experiencing More Conflict in My Relationships? Trauma can affect your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. Trust issues, communication problems, and difficulties with intimacy are common challenges. If you find your relationships are suffering because of these issues, trauma therapy can offer tools to improve your relational dynamics and build stronger, more supportive connections.
Validating Your Experience
To heal from a traumatic experience, it’s essential to validate your own feelings and experiences. Trauma isn’t about comparing your experiences to others or measuring the severity of an event. Instead, it’s about recognizing the emotional and psychological impact of what you’ve lived through. Here are a few ways to validate your experience:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Your emotions are valid, regardless of how they compare to others’ experiences. It’s okay to feel deeply affected by something that might not seem significant to someone else.
Seek Professional Help: Talking to a therapist can provide you with an objective perspective on your experiences. They can help you understand the ways your past experiences are impacting your present and how to address them more effectively.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate your feelings. It’s important to recognize that seeking support and taking care of your mental health is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Reach Out for Support: Connecting with others who have experienced similar struggles can help you feel understood and less isolated. Support groups or online communities can offer validation and shared experiences.
Take the Next Step and Start Trauma Therapy
If you’re questioning whether your experiences are traumatic, it’s a sign that you’re reflecting on your emotional health and well-being. This is an important first step towards healing. Remember that trauma is personal and unique to each individual. Your feelings and experiences are valid, and seeking help can provide you with the support you need to navigate and heal from them. Trauma therapy is a vital resource for those grappling with the long-term effects of traumatic experiences. Whether stemming from a singular event or ongoing stressors, trauma can deeply impact your emotional and psychological well-being. Recognizing when you might benefit from trauma therapy is crucial for initiating the healing process.
Don’t let self-doubt prevent you from addressing your needs. You deserve to find clarity and support, no matter how you define your experiences. Embrace your journey towards healing with compassion and openness, and know that you’re not alone in this process. The trauma therapists Aspen Grove Wellness are trained to walk alongside you as you navigate this process. Remember, you don't have to face this alone - contact us and get started on your journey towards recovery.
Comments